when most of it spills out

OMG!!!!!

2011-12-28T10:09:00.000-08:00

well..i had a swell day today..haha..but the starting was totally awful..

i woke up with a fever and an upset tummy..

k nvm i went out with my mum and my sisters anyway..

so we went to j8 at first..then head for the bank.i thot my mum was just drawing some cash for my sisters..but then she handed me my account book..

i was like "whats this for?"

she said "we gona make an atm card for you."

i smiled so widely man!!! hahahaha

then we queued up and applied and all..vuala!!i have a atm card with me!!woohoo

hahaha..then we went to coffee bean to have some breakfast..hah!(we barely go there)..

and after that we went to popular to buy for my two younger sisters their books..

and after that to the salon!!hee..i had the moisturising treatment..ehhhehehe..

and after that we headed home thinking that it was the end of the day..

at home, while having lunch my dad asked if we wanted to go to toapayoh..

we all said it was ok as they could also buy their shoes..

so we relaxed and took a nap..then at 3pm i asked if we were going..

my dad had a sudden pms i guess..he was all moody..but my mumu was like what the heck, just go with it..so me, my mum, n my two sisters headed for toapayoh..

we went shopping again..heheeh..than went home..

everyone was super tired..X/..aha

okok than we had dinner..then i slept awhile cause i had fever again..haha..

ok..thats the end..=] thankyou!!

thinking....

2011-12-27T10:12:00.000-08:00

well..i should say that i really miss him..and im really..empty..haish..

its really boring to suddenly lose the person you really love the most..

i wish i can talk to him right now..

i wish we had never fought that day..

i wish he would have came for me that day..

i wish im not in this situation right now.. really..

haish..im being pressured..

by my dad, by my mum, by my promise to myself, by my promise to my bestfriend..by my promise to D..

noone would ever understand my situation..even if they said they understood..

it sucks..

ALOT!

haish..will i concentrate my course to graduate to poly?

will i find someone better in ite?

will i become astray from my path?

will i break my promises?

i hope i cant cope with it..i really do..

hmm..i guess i will be very busy with school soon..

my course, cca, projects..

i hope D changes..i hope he ask me back with a different attitude..but deep down in my gut..i know that he will still have the same old arrogant douchebag in him..i cry every night thinking about him..well..even if im with him or not..i just have a feeling that he is keeping something from me..something big..haish..i wont say i regret meeting him..and i wont say i regret breaking up with him.

.one thing that everyone around me say..that they are afraid that i will still be the same or worse..hmm..no one has faith in me..and i cant move on if i dont feel the faith..hmm.. hate this..

2011-12-25T08:51:00.000-08:00

hey to all again..hmm..today i am very annoyed and very restless..im just so god damn stressed right now..i try so hard to be happy with my family..and having a boyfriend..is needed..fuck it why did i even say that..having a boyfriend is pointless..so unreasonable..so not understanding..so not loving..so not caring..so fucking annoying..haish..seriously i just wish i will be single all the way till i find the right guy..why i say that cause..every single fucking day is always my fault..argh!!!nevermind i just wanna hit something so hard till my hand bleed..seriously..hmm..not being ammature but seriously..

missing you guys

2011-12-21T23:47:00.000-08:00

well i miss you guys really..(from left) shiyin, nurliyana, nurul shafiqah, ratna sari dewi, noriziani and me..i really wonder why we all split up..i miss the times we had together..if i were to blame other people it would be pointless..cause if a true friendship broke up with the cause of other people it just means that we dont fully trust each other like how we said we used to be..i wish we could be as one again..for now..i know that nurliyana is in polythecnic, ratna is working at coffee beans at AMKHub, nurul is still with hanafi, me n noriziani still stayed as bestfriends, but i dont know a thing about shiyin..you guys..if you hear my now..i want to say im sorry about the past.. when we all had our problems we were there for each other..hahakz..i missed it..well..all have moved on..

RATNA:

first im sorry about this years problem but i honestly wasnt walking about you..really..even tho i say you came out that lift..still it wasnt you that i was talking about..im not that disrespectful to my friends..you can say all the things you want to me..but i'll come out clean..yeah i was shock to see you..but i was waiting for another couple to come out that lift..i cant give you the evidence but i have witnesses..again she wore singlet n hotpants n let down her hair..you were definitely wearing sch uniform..and the guy was darker then your boyfriend..but is you want to believe my words against others, its your choice girl..i will not force anyone at all..=]

NURLIYANA:

liyana where did you go!!!why you hilang like that..hey we had no disagreements since pri sch..but i barely see you even tho your hse is opp the sch..i only saw your mom..which is weird actually..she will how im doing and all..and i'll ask how your doing..hahakz..but hey i hope you do well in polythecnic..and hope you go further in your studies..=]

NURUL:

nurul ketot!hahahakz..its your common name in sec sch..you and hanafi is the sweetest couple i've ever seen..honestly i hope you two will last forever..=]..hmm..we arent that close in sec sch but i still like you as a friends..heeh..=]

SHIYIN:

shiyin..heidi..your a good friends..but you get so caught up in your own worlds that sometimes you forget about the rest..hmm..i have no other words to explain us..your most of the times way too rough even with me..tho i dont care rough..you just WAY TOO ROUGH..sorry if im being honest..and you get too bitchy when you hate someone..heh..but by all means your just being you..and i cant stop that..=]

NORIZIANI;

bei, cheh..hhaha..i love you bei!!you were there when i needed someone..you were there when i was at my worst..you were there to nag at me like a big sister..hahahkz..<3..i hope we can last as friends till the end..no secrets remember..i've told you all of mine..=]..and now im just wishing that we wont stray apart when we go to our post sec sch..=[..you like my bestfriend, my sister, my girlfriend..hahahkz..im certain that this made you smile..=]..hee..haish..im just so sad i cant meet you so often like we always did.. now that you have moved house..and different sch..hmm.. still i love you..hahahahkz..wonder how many times i've said it..hahahkz..

okok.. i think im done for now.. toodles to my girlfriends..=]..<3

results time..

2011-12-21T23:07:00.000-08:00

result day was terrible..so sian..

..hahakz..well..my darling gf was there for me, she went there to support me even tho we fought like two days ago..hahakz.love her so much..TOlAK tagged along with her that day..=]..(tolak is haidar her bf) huhuhu..

well on the other hand my darling boyfriends for 6mths, BABI, was suppose to by there for me..but he wasnt..i love him so much but we fight almost all the time..we totally like pouring hydrogloric acid onto a rock..its burns but still remains its shape..-.-"

seriously..he never thinks of how i feel..and i shouted on the phone with him infront of my gf..she was absolutely in shock that i behaved that way..hahakz..i wasnt cause i knew that i can explode..and when i did i knew it wouldnt be nice..hah..now she knows..lol..but i was glad she was there for me..even with disagrement i love you..GET THAT GIRL!!!

well now for my results..*drum roll*..i have graduated to ITE..haish..disappointed..not cause of anything but..it was my second try..it was supposed to be better..well it was better..but not enuf apparently..even my mum was dissappointed..well i think i will have to prove myself that i can move up and not down..=]..thats right..positive.hahakz..=P

the moment of truth

2010-07-12T21:53:00.000-07:00

Its time to reveal..
I cant go thru it anymore.
Your change is too much for me.
I love you lots.
But i dont think its enough.
Your change makes me feel afar from you.
Yeah, i dont think you noticed that..
1yr 2mth 14days we were together.
I appreciate you being with me.
Maybe im asking too much..
But its for the both of us.
Now we have ended our rs.
Then i have heard you are dating

im sorry and good bye..

2009-08-19T03:03:00.000-07:00

YOYOOYOYOYOYOYO!!!!
2dae was a crazy dae man!!!!!!had a super blast dae..
in de mornin, i reached skull b4 nori...cn u believe it..hahakz..lolz..den daniel toked to me..its was laike so totalli weird..after dat..me n nori was laike waetin in class for de two bitches..hahakz..so de lambat(late)..waet till asssembli time..lolz..mr lee so lazy to walk to ol of us den tell to pas msg to tel of de clas tomit him aftr dismisal..
~skipskipskip~
during phy lsn..mdm teo j.k. came in super duper late..hahakz..de clas super slack..hahakz..death note n fiefie was laike walkin in n out of clas..so cute sia..gufy n ahboy was laike disturbin mr loo in de other clas..me, nori n ezra was laike playin arnd..we smackin each other..hahakz..nori n me was laike smakin each other on de face..
pain uh bt nt pain oso..hahakz..
~skipskipskip~
aftr skul wen to smbwg n met my syg amin~~~<3<3hehe..we lepak wif his frenz..den his mum came by..OMG!!laike so seram(scary)..she started to scoldin him..n tel me to go home alone..=(..his face was so saden..laike small boy sei..hahakz..
den met nori at j8..went to pasar mlm..den buy lekor..hahakz..den went hm..
n nw i m blogin dis story..
hahakz.. datz ol..

2009-08-12T23:14:00.000-07:00

what a day..such a crazy day 2dae was...hahahahakkzzz...man..
had exam todae..lolz..oni phy..okaey lah..boleh tahan..but slept half of de paper..woohoo..shyok..after dat sat in de canteen wif RARA for laike 15 minz den go to j8 wif my sayang..misz ratz n shiyin..I MIZS DE TWO OF U>!!!!
but it was okaey..we ate at LJS..hahakz..it was fun..i was laike de small kid n norz was laike de older sis..hahakz..even de ppl around us was laike smillin at us..hahakz..aktuali at me..n norz was laike embarassed..hehekk..GOOD FOR U NORZ!!! muahahahahahhaha....
after dat we went around j8..we saw joshua(sec4)..asked for my photos..den we looked at de CDs..nice sia..den we go up nxt lvl..
OMG>>u knw wat..haiyo..gt 4 ite matz was laike stalkin us..so seram(scary)..despo sia..wan ask gurl num oso muz follow laike 1 dog sia..as if we got de dog food..eeeee..it makes my heart tickle..hehehehe..
dey follow frm 2nd lvl to 4th lvl..haiyo..norz was laike so scared..i juz tell her to walk oni..act casual..hehe..at de same time..i was laike makin joke abt dem to cool thingz..norz was laike laughin laike a crazy women..even though she was one..hahahahahahahahahahkz...its true norz...
hahakz..end up dey gif up..useless ppl...wan num oso cn gif up..dun knw how to go straight..LOSERZ!!!muahahahahahahaha....
after dey lozerz r gone norz was more relekz..kelakar babe..we den ate at pizzahut wif norz mum..funy sei..i was laike super frenly to de front waitress..hehe..den we did makeup fight at watsons..super fun sei..

lolz

2009-08-06T02:01:00.000-07:00

wat a dae 2dae was...soooo much fun lah...was crazy at skul, at remidial n after skul...lolzzzz....borin sia....2dae dere was exam..english n malay..ok lah de paper..hahakz..but while i was doin aloysious cn tok to me...we were laike laughin in silence hahakz...it was so fun...
b4 de malay paper..he asked..
aloy: ayu..
me: yeah??
aloy: gt chinese dictionary??
me: no(showin de -.-" face)
aloy: ok..later let me copy ur paper ok..(grinin)
me: hahakz..okok..

kinda lame raite..after dat mr lee was laike hapy mood todae..so round..hahakz..i was sitted away frm norz , shiyin , n ratzna...i misz u guys..do u misz me????lolz..
hahakz..paper was easy..man..durin break..we played boobs hittin..didnt knw hu started it..it was ratna raite??hit mine den i hit hers den norz den shiyin den liyana..hahakz..after all de paper ended den nurul joined in..hahakz..so fun..

after de paper..i had maths n poa remedial..wow..mathz was laike fun for de first time..bt wen poa came........my laziness came...hahakz...i didnt reali concentrated...instead i asked mr loo stupid questions..hahakz....n disturb ratna, shiyin n norz...it was reali fun..we den went to de toilet...mr lee was hafin n oral wif a sec4 class...he called me n shiyin at first...we taught he was gonna scold us....but den he asked us to take for him a table..-.-"....so lazy lah he...den otw bak to class...he called ratna n me again....haiyo...dis time he asked to on de fan...outside de class oso cn on fan...haizzz...
after remedial,,,,,me,shiyin,ratna,norz n liyana went to j8...wooohoooo...shiyin n norz was hungry....haiyo....we checked kfc..lotz of ppl.....den mcD...oso lotz of ppl...den we went longjohnsilver...to me datz laike wow so expensive ah...hahakz...bt den to see dem eat make me , ratz n liyana hungry...so we shared money to buy a pathetic crazy potatoes meal..it was okaey...fun too...bt while eatin poohbear n gang walked by LJS..shiyin was laike stunt n norz was laike pppllll-ing at shiyin....we were laughin laike nobody business...hahakz...
man n 2dae im nt goin to silat...haizhh...so sad cnt c my 'family'...wat to do exam mah....hahakz...im gonna misz trainin...nvm...oh n I CNT WAIT FOR CAMP N HARI RAYA!!!!~selamat hari raya..dadadadadadadada (chengchengcheng)~hahakzz

im sury

2009-08-04T02:36:00.000-07:00

todae was a great dae but sumtin distroyed it..it was him...he made me feel guilty..he is ezra...i knw i told you dat i love u..i do but nt as much as i love my guy..i reali hope u understand..i knw ur sad n disappointed..but u dun haf to ignore me laike dat..it realli hurtz u knw..haisz..hmz..u sae ur sury for nt tokin to me..i sae im sury for hurtin u..bt wats de point if we sae sury bt dun reali make up..
everytime i see ur face i feel sury bt i tink u deserve it..u knw dat im att..hmz..ur actuali lucky dat i didnt tell my guy..yeah..if he knew , u would b dead by nw..hahakz..its gud dat i didnt tell..cause i care for u..i juz hope dat u understand..
guys r so weird..dey cnt let go of love if dey dun get it..i dun wana blame him bt i became more emo efter u did dis..

OH MAN . . .

2009-07-27T01:25:00.001-07:00

haf been filin bad dese daes . . laike sumtinz eatin my hapynezz awae . . dun knw where to begin . . de past 2 daez i quarrel wif my sis' . . den i reali mish my guy . . n nw i haf 4 more daez til de reveal . . man . . wat shld i do . . i dun wana hurt him . . bt i also dun wana go wif him . . i asked for opinions frm NORZ , LIL' DANCER , VANAE , HEIDI , MARVIN , PRAVIN . . sum more . . motst of dem gav me almost de same ans . . "ITS UR CHOICE . . BT HE IS A GUD GUY" . . i had a mth to think abt it . . n guess wat . . i had de ans after a wk . . i juz spent de rest of de daes correctin if i made a gud choice . . no one knows de ans . . it was rather a diff choice . . bt it was right . . juz hope dat no1 thinkz diff . . n hope HE doesnt fil hurt . . i love him bt i like him . .
aniwae 2dae had laughed alot . . bt it still cnt keep my smilin or hapy . . even though me n HEIDI was punchin n slapin each other . . it was fun n pain ful at first . . it laike drained out so damn fast . . i dun knw y . . cn U tel me y ? ? haish . . . after dat wen we went of frm skul n set our routes apart . .
. . i met wif my sis fren . . HADI . . he was kinda cute . . bt i make him laike a little bro / small boi . . hahakz . . he asked if i could get him a pack . . n after askin 4 of my frenz . . i finali gt it . . he was laike smilin so widely . . frm ear to ear . . he came out wif his fren . . his fren too was smilin widely . . den he gav me 5 sticks for fre . . wow huh . . yeah . . it was nice of him . . nvm . . im gona giv it to my papa 2mrw . . yeapz . .

2009-07-17T01:44:00.000-07:00

WHAT A LAZT TODAE WAS .. we had so much fun durin pe . . played rugby . . muahahahahazz . . norz n heidi was like to mental paitent on de loose . . seriously . . dey were runni n shoutin for de ball . . hahahahakz . .
wen i had de ball norz was like gonna kil me . . she was hitin my bak n tryin to grab de ball frm me . . but she cnt muahahahahahahahahahz . . norz tied my hair dis mornin . . it was nice bt reali itchy . . my hair was pokin my shoulders . . so painful u knw . .
heidi on de other hand was gettin de ball n runnin to de other end juz to get pointz . . she was so totalli crazi . . bt she was also she cause ther was ahpoon at de other end of de field . . she was shy to play at first bt den get to enjoy de game . .
ratz on de other hand was laike confused n ol . . wether to choose W or N . .
i would totali choose N if i were her . . U HEAR DAT RATZZZZNA . . even me norz n heidi supported him . . haizz . . but its stil up to her to choose . . juz hope dat she would choose N . . GO N GO !!!! U ROKZ !!!! W GO N BE RATZZ FREN ONI !!!! hehehehe . .
lol !!!! at de end of de dae .....
me norz heidi n liyana wen to j8 . . i wanted to buy my guy a present for our 3mth aniversary . . hehehe . . man he told me he wanted to p***** his eyebrow n lipz . . aiyo . . so geram u knw . . haizh . . well i juz hope dat we will last long . .

why lah ? why lah ?

2009-07-14T02:56:00.000-07:00

its the way you looked at me .
its the way you talked to me .
its the way you thought of me .
its the way you hurt me .
your words are
killing me inside out .
please stop hurting me so bad .
stop , please stop .
i hate it when it happens .

. . . . . wAt a dAe . . . . . .

2009-07-14T00:39:00.000-07:00

PHEW.... man wat a dae lah 2dae . . sooooo de borin sei . . .
THEN , durin malay lesson . . . ther was a test . . none of ur reali studied for it . . . hahahahakz . . . mr faizal aka BUMBLEBEE gav us de paper n did his work . . . me , nor , ratz , nunu n hanafi stared at de paper . . at a gud timin , BUMBLEBEE wen out of de classrm . . . ol of us started askin qeustions . . hahakz . . at last after we didi de paper from NORTHBROOKS we talked hahaha . . can u imagine ?? talkin at class test , de teach didnt ever care . .
den otw to hist class , we saw MR PILO . . . NORZ saw n said "mrpilo we brought our red fail. " sayin dat she did nt realized dat she was goin de wrong wae . . me heidi n rattna juz went off wif out tellin her . . wen nor turned around we all laughed . . . hahahahakz . . .
heidi on de other hand had given me a mark on my hand which havent reali go awae yet . . *sobs*sobs* . . but itsh ok . its her sign of her love to me . . not laike NORZ hu gav me a knock on my head itsh kinda nt hurt for me but it hurtz alot for her . . .

STUPID !! STUPID !!

2009-07-13T01:04:00.000-07:00

MORNING !!!
haiyooo . . toodae de skul gave new timetable . . laike WTH larh . . its de same . . butt wen meee n 'R' checked it thoroughly . . . . u knw wat ??
de onli diff is de bloody geog CLASSROOM !!!! arghh!!!!

haizz . . . hhmmmzzzz . . . ah !! 2dae there was photo takin ..
LOTZ of fun man . . de formal pic . . nt bad . . but de bezt was informal . . muahahahahahzzz . .
evryone was evrywher . . dere were two pics to b taken . . de FIRST , me , 'R' , 'N' n 'A' . . . cuddled 2gether n smiled as if we were takin our own photo . . de SECOND one was , we sat beside MR. LEE . . hehe . . he was laike our class father-figure . . we made funy faces wen de light flashed . . hahahakz . . it was totalli fun . .

What A Bad Day!!

2009-07-07T01:24:00.000-07:00

Yeah...had a reali bad dae u know...firstly the 'pinky finger' and ' thumb' kept on starin....Aiyo! so frustrating...maybe i could shave off their hair n eyebrows...haha...how bout dat..

den evri strand i shall join dem up n tie it around deir neck...muahaha...juz wish i could chop off their head n put it @ de centre of de road...their body...i cn gif it bak to deir parentz..

well...other den dat...'M' & 'R' & 'A' & miee had a fight..i have a bruise on my arm...

oh my goodness....

2009-06-14T18:49:00.000-07:00

i cant wait to mit "M" (nori) next thurs . i cant wait to c her face smile n go crazy hehehek . i hope dat GREENMAN come to SP dat dae . it would reali make "M" hapi . can't believe it ? juz do believe it . .

[ *** ]

like dat dae we saw him . . she so totali freaked out . . hahahakz . . i cn tell dat she reali laike him . . n i'm glad dat she finali forgets about stupid idiot . . me n "R" (shiyin) reali hate stupid idiot . . i mean wat kinda guy oni hurts a gurl but saes dat he laikes or r juz frenz wif her . . reali . . i just wanna smack , no even better , punch his face upside down . . yeah . . n i bet "R" would like to join me . . muahahahahahaha . .

[ *** ]

haish . . . . . as for now im havin' de worst time of mai life durin' skul holz . . . . skul holz are suppose to haf no activities raite ? ? but now a daez , skulz giv studentz work to do durin' skul holz . . laike wat de hell . . .

its de bezt dae of all!!!!

2009-06-11T22:50:00.000-07:00

we had so much fun...mi n gurlgurl(nori)...she practically fell in love wif a guy name 'greenman' dats wat we kol him...he is hot lke crazy n is kinda of a shy guy..he onli checks her out..stares at her but doesnt reali smile or try n talk to her..kinda of weird huh..
aniwae his fren was so lookin at mi..he was ok n cute hehe..we were stalked by a group of guys from marsling sec..soo weird...dats kinda of all..